Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Colossians 4:6
The Apostle Paul was a master communicator. He knew how to win people over and connect quickly with his audience. When practicing the Art of Gracious Speech, central to a gracious spirit is to look for the best in others and then speak to them about what you see, always showing appreciation for them and honor toward them. Here are a few ways in which you can season your speech with graciousness.
5 Ways to Speak Graciously & Connect Relationally
- Practice the 60 Second Rule. Say something nice to someone in the first sixty seconds of the conversation.
- Smize. Smizing means to smile while you are talking to someone. Radio personalities while along in a studio speak this way so their smile comes across in their voice.
- Ask about them. Most people like to talk about themselves. When you ask people about them it has the emotional effect of pulling them toward you vs. pushing them away which is what making statements do.
- Admire, Acknowledge, & Affirm them. Early in your conversation, find something that you admire about them and tell them why. Talk to them about their talents, the value they bring to you, or encourage them. Demonstrate thanks to them, this will fill their emotional bucket.
- Listen, Listen, then Listen some more. Focused Listening is the practice of intentionally tuning in to listen with your heart, not just head. Start with listening for the for four C’s. Listen for Content - what is being said. Context - Why it is being said. Connection - Area you can emotionally relate, and Charge - where in the conversation is the other person emoting and why.
REFLECT TO CONNECT
- In what ways do you speak graciously to someone?
- Who do you know that is gracious in their speech, how do they do it?
- Someone who is not gracious in their speech, what is it that they do?
Principle: The Art form of Gracious Speech creates a charisma in you and around you by focusing on other so you can connect on-demand relationally.
