SCRIPTURE:
9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.
1 John 2:9-11
OBSERVATION:
What do you do when someone betrays you? What if someone sins against you? What if someone hurts you or breaks your trust? God’s answer might surprise you.
Have you ever found yourself in this scenario? Chances are, you probably have because people are people. While the spirit within us has great capacity for good, the flesh within us has great capacity for harm. When you’ve encountered someone who hurt you, misjudged you, or broke your trust, you probably didn’t feel great. Maybe you were sad. Disappointed. Hurt and angry. In your emotions and in your brokenness, maybe you even began to hate the other person. But do you have the right to hate them? Are you allowed to not forgive them? The Bible says that the answer is no. Even if they’re the one who hurt you? Even if you did nothing wrong? Yes.
As John writes, “anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness” (1 John 2:9). Why? Because “anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them” (1 John 2:11). In other words, we cannot hate others, even when they sin against us, because hatred pulls us into the darkness. Even if we did nothing wrong, our hate invites darkness into our heart and our unforgiveness causes bitterness to take root.
As the apostle Paul exhorts in Ephesians 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” We should not harbor hate, unrighteous anger, and unforgiveness because we give the devil a foothold in our lives when we do. Even though we may not have been wrong to begin with, we become wrong when we begin to hate the other person.
One reason we struggle with this is because we confuse forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust. Forgiveness––a complete pardon for sin motivated by grace, love, and obedience––is something we must always and unconditionally extend. As Jesus says in Matthew 6:14, “if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” We forgive as God forgave us. Reconciliation––the restoration of a broken relationship––is not always guaranteed, for it’s a two-way street. While we must always forgive, we don’t always, and shouldn’t always, go back to the way things were, especially in situations in which the value of one’s personhood and sanctity of life were disregarded. Trust––the belief and respect of a person, their morals, and their character––or the lack thereof, must be built up over time. In difficult situations, trust is often broken, and it’s this deficit of trust that often makes the heart hurt. While trust can be rebuilt, it often takes time to earn trust back. Forgiveness is different from reconciliation, which is different from trust.
Now why does this all matter? Because as John writes, if we claim to be Christian––if we claim to be people of the light––then we must walk in the light. And how do we walk in the light in these situations? Forgiveness. Even when it is not warranted. Even when you did nothing wrong. Even if others and their actions attempt to pull us into the darkness, we must not let them. We must not harbor hate, or bitterness, or unforgiveness. We must not let their darkness dim our light. Don’t be blinded by the darkness; overcome it with the light that is in you.
APPLICATION:
What do you do when someone betrays you? Forgive. What if someone sins against you? Forgive. What if someone hurts you or breaks your trust? Forgive.
Holding onto unforgiveness will always lead to bitterness. Unforgiveness doesn’t make the other person right; it makes you wrong. Unforgiveness is like choosing to sit in a prison cell in which the door has been left wide open. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It is choosing to let the life get sucked out from you while the other person lives freely. Unforgiveness always harms us exponentially more than it ever hurts the other person.
Is there anyone you need to forgive today? If so, I understand how hard it is. I struggle with it too. But just like John writes, “anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble” (1 John 2:9-10). Don’t choose to be a person of darkness. Be a person of the light. While reconciliation is never a guarantee, forgiveness is. Don’t hold onto hate. Forgive as God forgave you, and when you do, you will experience life to the fullest.
PRAYER:
God,
Thank You for loving me and for forgiving me. I don’t deserve Your forgiveness, yet in Your grace, love, and mercy, You freely give it to me. And because You forgave me, I can forgive others. God, I forgive those who have hurt me, I choose to love those who haven’t shown love to me, and I give grace to those who have lacked grace toward me because that is what You have commanded. And what You have commanded is right and righteous. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
