So David received from her hand what she had brought him, and said to her, “Go up to your house in peace. See, I have listened to you and granted your request.”
1 Samuel 25:35
Don’t talk past the sale. Once David agreed to and affirmed that Abigail had been successful in convincing him to follow her recommendation, Abigail stopped talking and went her way. Abigail was in a tense situation, yet she was wise enough to know when to end and exit the conversation. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone when they didn’t know when to stop talking? People can get what they want in a conversation and then talk the other person out of it by continuing to talk when they should be listening or leaving.
In Abigail’s case, she was standing before a king. Have you ever thought long and hard about how to make an “ask” of someone in authority? Maybe you had a conversation coming up with a spouse, a supervisor, a loan officer, or someone of great influence or authority. In that case, you likely thought through the conversation, prepared yourself mentally and emotionally, and knew what you would say and even how you would ask your request. Here are a few ways people sabotage themselves in a “selling situation” you can be on the lookout for the next time you are making a big “ask” of someone in your life or someone is making an “ask” of you.
- Nervousness: When people get nervous, they have a hard time not talking. Excessive talking in sales, negotiation, or high-stakes conversation will eventually make the other person nervous.
- Hold Your Peace: After making an “ask” (your request), be silent and let the other person answer. If you take the bait off the hook, you’ll never catch a fish.
- Professional vs. Causal Rapport: It’s not uncommon when a person receives a yes to their “ask” that their guard comes down, and they forget their surroundings and become too personal or too familiar when a professional rapport is more appropriate than a casual conversation.
REFLECT TO CONNECT
- As you reflect on requests (ASKS) you’ve made in the past, do you recall your emotional state and how you handled yourself during the meeting?
- Is there a safeguard system or mental trigger you can put in place to alert you of when to further your argument or make your “ask” and leave the room?
- Whom do you know that is good at getting what they want and then knowing when to exit?
It’s self-sabotaging to make an “ask” and then keep talking without giving the other person time to answer.
