“For you have shown today that princes and servants are nothing to you; for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the LORD, if you do not go out, surely not a man will pass the night with you, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.”
2 Samuel 19:6-7
Correct authority carefully. David had successfully put down a mutiny by his son Absalom, but the price of victory was the death of his son. While David mourned his son publicly, he was inadvertently disrespecting his staff and servants privately. Joab, his commander, courageously spoke on behalf of the people and corrected his king for his behavior. Sometimes you will be required to speak into someone’s life; however, do it carefully if they are an authority. “Speaking truth to power” is often a scary and dangerous proposition. For most of us, going into our boss’s office to request a raise is nerve-racking enough, but to rebuke, correct, or admonish a supervisor seems almost an impossible task. When correcting those in authority over you, pray it through, talk it through, then consider the following advice:
FIVE STEPS TO SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER
Be Humble. If you were in that situation, how would you want to be approached? Remember that you, too, have blind spots. Put yourself in their shoes before you put them in their place. Identify with their situation emotionally before you communicate intellectually.
Be Careful. You are speaking to authority, so choose your words wisely before making your case. If you sense an open door, proceed. If you see a closed door to your input, then retreat and don’t kick the door down—nothing good will come of it. Be courageous and willing to risk, but don’t say something you will regret or make matters worse.
Be Brief. If you can’t make your point in 3-5 sentences, you have not thought it through enough. You should be able to state the issues, how it’s affecting others, and a potential solution in 1-2 minutes or less. Spending time personally emoting and not identifying with them backfires because you are focused on yourself and not them.
Be Gentle. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) If you speak out of frustration, your emotional response will be what is remembered over the importance of your argument.
Be Thankful. Thank your supervisor for their willingness to allow you to be heard and close the meeting compassionately and quickly— do not linger lest you say what shouldn’t be said out of nervousness or frustration.
REFLECT TO CONNECT
- When was the last time you encountered a scenario where speaking truth to power was required?
- How can you mitigate the uncomfortableness that comes from dealing with difficult conversations?
- What advice would you give to a friend who has to speak truth to power to a customer, coworker, a parent, or supervisor?
Those in authority can sense who is manipulating them and who is looking out for them.
