Does God Want Me to Abandon My Family?

by Donovan Sabog on April 23, 2026

SCRIPTURE:

34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn

“‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—

36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’

37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 10:34-39

 

OBSERVATION:

I love my family. That’s why I’m always taken aback when I read these verses. If you speed through these verses, you might think God wants you to hate or abandon your family. But is that what He’s saying? Absolutely not. Then what is He saying? Jesus is saying that:

1. God loves families

After all, God created the family unit––and what He created is good. In fact, in the world He created, the family unit is the basis of society. God loves families and desires for them to be together. In Deuteronomy 5:16, He commands us to “honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” In Ephesians 6:4 He tells parents to “not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Likewise, He says in Psalm 127:3, “children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.” God loves families and desires for them to stay together, united as one.

2. The Gospel is divisive. 

Jesus acknowledges that the message of the Gospel causes contention. The Gospel is divisive in that it requires you to make a choice. It forces you to decide if you are in, or if you are out.

3. If your family gives you an ultimatum, choose God.

While God loves families, the Gospel is also divisive. Thus, when these two factors are simultaneously at play, Jesus acknowledges the fact that there will be divisiveness against families. While I’ve been blessed to grow up in a God-fearing family, the reality is that this is not the case for most people. For many––especially those who live in countries where Christianity is the minority––choosing to follow Jesus is also the choice to cause friction in the family. In some cases, families may also threaten to disown you for choosing to follow Christ.

APPLICATION:

Jesus is not trying to break families apart. However, He is also not shying away from the fact that the Gospel may cause families to break apart. In these cases, Jesus is telling believers to choose Him over their families––and you should too. Why? 

Because choosing to follow Christ is choosing your family. Yes, you may have to disown them in the short term, but choosing to follow Christ is the choice to trust Him with the long-term future of your family. By choosing Christ above your family, you are recognizing that He is sovereign and in control. You are also declaring that you know Him, His heart, and His will is for your family to be saved. And most importantly, you are fully surrendering control to Him. 

You might love your family, but God loves your family infinitely more than you ever could. Remember that He created them, He gave them purpose, and His will is for them to come to know Christ. As Peter writes in 2 Peter 3:9 NIV, “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Trust God with your family. Love Him, and love them, so much that you are willing to surrender them completely to God. For when you do, your temporary friction with them has the best chance at becoming eternal salvation for them.

PRAYER:

God,

Thank You for my family. I love them, but today, I realize that You love them so much more than I ever could. So I repent for stealing control from You and withholding them from You. I surrender my family to You, I choose You first, and I ask that You bless my family with health, love, provision, and salvation. I love You, Lord. Thank You for loving me and my family.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

About the Author

Donovan Sabog

Pastor Donovan Sabog joined our staff in 2020 and was appointed as our Executive Pastor in 2025. He loves God, loves people, and is passionate about helping people discover their God-given potential, release their dreams, and become all God created them to be.

Donovan grew up at New Hope Oahu and has been a part of this church with his family since 2004. Starting from a young age, he served on our Worship, Youth Performing Arts Center, NHO Music, and Children’s Ark teams, and he led our Lighting Team through its transition from Farrington High School to our Ministry Center when he was a high school student at Punahou School. 

These experiences led him to Yale University, where he received B.A. degrees with distinction in Economics and History, and worked as Head Recruitment Coordinator and Senior Presenter for Yale Undergraduate Admissions. While at Yale, he performed in the Yale Spizzwinks and Yale Whiffenpoofs a cappella groups, traveling with these groups to 25 states and 35 countries across all six inhabited continents. Donovan also received his M.A. in Formational Leadership from Lancaster Bible College and Capital Seminary.

Prior to New Hope, Donovan was a management consultant in New York City and has held various internships in finance, investment, education, government, and strategic policy at various firms in Hawaii. 

When he's not at church, you’ll probably find him eating a plate lunch (Garlic Chicken or Tonkatsu…with white rice and mac salad, of course), on a plane headed to serve the global Church on mission, or loving on people God places in his path.

Donovan is grateful to serve God, serve you, and do church as a team here at NHO. And if there’s one thing Donovan hopes that you always remember, it’s that “YOU ARE LOVED!”

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” - Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV

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