Do you see a person who is hasty with his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 29:20
God has given us two ears and one mouth, and we should use them in that proportion. The wise person is more inclined to ask questions than to make statements. They have trained their minds to think in questions. In this way, they develop a bent toward becoming “Socratic” in their communication. Whether we are draw- ing near to God or sitting in front of a supervisor or customer, learn- ing to think in questions rather than statements can yield many benefits. When communicating:
- Consider your options before making a recommendation. Your first thought will rarely be your best. Pausing before presenting produces a better idea. Then, present it as a question vs. a statement.
- Consider the potential outcomes before suggesting a course of action. By “playing the tape to the end” in your mind’s eye, you can begin to experience the emotional benefits of being on the other side of the decision. Armed with more intelligence, you may reconsider your options, then ask a question.
- Consider the consequences of your words before they leave your lips. Like toothpaste out of a tube, you won’t be able to put them back. Counting the cost before the spoken transaction takes place can save you a lot of unnecessary pain. Pos- ing questions vs. positioning a statement has the emotional effect in conversation of pulling people toward you. Statements push; questions pull.
- Consider how you might say what you are going to say before you say it. Words reflect feelings in the one saying them and produce feelings in the one hearing them. Over 90% of communication is nonverbal, so consider the kinds of feelings you are about to reflect and then ask them, “How would you feel if…”
REFLECT TO CONNECT
- Have you ever tried to have a conversation using only questions?
- What percentage of your typical conversation is in questions vs. statements?
- Whom do you know that exercises mastery using the questioning techniques?
Right questions precede right answers. Learning to think in questions will make one a better thinker and will get the focus off oneself and onto others.
